Pastoral
Welcome from the Head of School
Stepping into the role of Head of School is a privilege that I am hugely excited about, and as I look toward my final year, I cannot help but think about how much Cokethorpe has shaped me since I arrived in First Form. What stands out to me most is not one single event or achievement, but the constant sense of encouragement that you feel here- the feeling that you are known, supported, and trusted to make the most of every opportunity.
One of the first things I noticed when I joined was how quickly you feel a part of something bigger. The House system is not just about competitions and points; it is about friendships that cross year groups, older pupils looking out for younger ones, and a bit of friendly rivalry that makes events all the more exciting. I still remember my first house event, house singing, and how nervous I was, but everyone was so encouraging that it instantly became exciting.
Sport, too, is a cornerstone of life at Cokethorpe. Whether you are playing rugby, football, netball, hockey or more specialist sports including shooting, sailing, and climbing, there is a constant buzz of training, matches and tours. Representing the school in any capacity allows you to build strong bonds with fellow teammates or personal confidence. You learn how to push yourself, how to work as a team, and how to pick yourself up after a tough match- lessons that go far beyond the field.
What also stands out is the variety of things you can throw yourself into. The arts are woven into school life, with concerts, productions and exhibitions giving pupils the chance to perform and share their work. The AOB programme, which are timetabled slots open to a variety of lessons, is such a big part of the opportunities offered and was for me.
I have seen friends discover they love drawing, play in a band, or join a club they would not have thought of, simply because the chance was there. This was when I learnt to crochet and continue to do so outside of school, many years on. These moments are when you realise how many opportunities there really are at Cokethorpe.
Above all, it is the people who make Cokethorpe what it is. The teachers who take the time to really know you, who encourage you to ask questions and think differently. The friends who turn ordinary days into unforgettable ones. It is a place that makes you feel valued and supported, while also nudging you to aim a little higher than you thought you could.
As I look ahead to the year to come, I feel incredibly lucky to have spent my school life in such a vibrant, caring community. I am excited to see what the year brings- the challenges, the achievements, and all the little moments in between that make Cokethorpe so unique, whilst continuing to fill my days with memories that I know will stay with me long after I have left.
Mida
Upper Sixth, Feilden
Head of School
Pastoral Life in the Prep School
A defining feature of the Prep School is its exceptional pastoral care and the strong, supportive relationships between staff, pupils, and parents. This strength reflects our core aim: to help children grow into well-rounded, considerate individuals who support and respect one another.
Classes in the Prep School, as in the Senior School, are deliberately kept small. This allows class teachers to act in a role similar to tutors in the Senior School, providing both academic guidance and pastoral support tailored to each child’s needs.
A Culture of Kindness
Kindness is woven into the fabric of our school life. Positive behaviour and empathy are actively celebrated through initiatives like our ‘Caught Being Kind’ programme.
Staff and pupils are encouraged to notice and acknowledge acts of kindness – whether it’s helping a friend, showing patience, or offering words of encouragement. These moments are shared and celebrated, reinforcing the message that kindness matters and that small actions can make a big difference.
Through initiatives like this, we aim to nurture not only academic success but also the qualities of compassion, integrity, and social responsibility that prepare pupils for life beyond the classroom.
Pupil Leadership
Leadership opportunities abound, from School Council and Sport Ambassadors to Digital Leaders and Wellbeing Ambassadors. These roles, available from Year 2 to Year 6, help pupils develop confidence, communication skills, and a sense of responsibility, acting as role models for their peers.
Parent Partnership
We value close communication with parents, which we see as a two-way partnership. At the start of each academic year, parents are invited to a Parents’ Information Evening to meet teachers, connect with other families, and learn about curriculum plans and year group expectations. Regular reporting and ongoing dialogue continue throughout the year, ensuring that parents remain fully informed and involved in their child’s journey.
Pastoral Structures in the Prep School
The House System
Our House system fosters belonging and camaraderie. Pupils of all ages collaborate and compete in a spirit of respect and friendship through inter-House events. Year 6 pupils lead as Captains and Vice-Captains, developing leadership and teamwork skills.
Form Time
The Prep School uses RULER to teach our pupils emotional intelligence, helping them to manage their full range of feelings so they can make more informed decisions, form and maintain mutually supportive relationships, attain personal growth and wellbeing, and achieve both academic and life success. RULER stands for: Recognising emotions in oneself and others; Understanding the causes and consequences of emotions; Labelling emotions with a nuanced vocabulary; Expressing emotions in accordance with cultural norms and social context; Regulating emotions with helpful strategies.
Form Time incorporates the RULER approach to teach emotional intelligence, helping pupils recognise, understand, and manage emotions. Combined with Vote for Schools, pupils engage in discussions on current affairs, promoting critical thinking and social awareness.
Wellbeing Room
Our Wellbeing Room offers a calm, supportive space for pupils to recharge, reflect, and receive care. Equipped with age-appropriate resources, it ensures emotional development alongside academic progress.
ELSA Support
The ELSA programme provides targeted emotional support, helping pupils build resilience, manage emotions, and foster positive relationships through structured sessions.
Mentoring Programme
As part of our pastoral care, Year 6 pupils have the opportunity to be mentored by Year 12 students. This programme encourages positive role modelling and helps younger pupils build confidence as they prepare for the transition to senior school. Mentors offer guidance, share experiences, and provide a friendly, reassuring presence, strengthening the sense of community across the School.
Tutor Partnering Programme
The Tutor Partnering programme sees members of the Sixth Form spend time with classes or tutor groups from another year group, from Reception Class through to Third Form, during a Registration session each week.
Offering support and guidance with pupils’ studies, providing an understanding of Sixth Form life or of subjects pupils are considering studying, and otherwise enjoying another opportunity to interact with younger pupils in the School.
Read about the Tutor Partnering programme from one of the early participants,
Jamie Minns (OC 2022, Vanbrugh) using the link below.
LIF-Ed:
Preparing Pupils for Life Beyond the Classroom
At our Senior School, every pupil from First Form to Sixth Form takes part in the LIF-Ed programme, a dynamic and forward-thinking approach to personal development. Through weekly sessions, LIF-Ed explores the core themes of the national PSHE curriculum – Health and Wellbeing, Relationships, and Living in the Wider World – alongside statutory RSHE requirements and elements of Futures education.
LIF-Ed is about more than just learning facts. It’s about empowering pupils with the skills and confidence to thrive in life – to think critically, make informed decisions, and become active, responsible citizens. Rather than simply giving answers, we provide a framework that encourages pupils to question, evaluate, and make choices that align with the law and their values.
This journey begins in our Prep School, where the Wellbeing Curriculum is woven into every aspect of school life. Weekly PSHE lessons, taught by dedicated Prep teachers, lay the foundations for a happy, healthy, and successful future.
The House and Year Group Systems in Senior School
The Senior School’s pastoral care is built around the House system and its tutor groups. There are six main houses in the Senior School. For those joining the Senior School in First Form (11+), they will enter Lower House. Lower House helps pupils to adapt to life in the Senior School, whilst getting to know the School and make friends with their new peers.
Wider House life is important at Cokethorpe, with many activities and competitions taking place along House lines.
Every pupil in the Senior School is assigned a tutor. Tutors act as both an academic and pastoral support to the pupils in their tutor group, liaising with Housemasters, Heads of Department, and parents as required.
Pastoral Life in the Sixth Form
The Sixth Form is a vibrant, supportive community where ambition meets nurture. Students are encouraged to excel academically and personally, supported by dedicated tutors and leadership opportunities that prepare them for life beyond school.
Members of the Sixth Form are supported by the Sixth Form team, comprising the Head of Sixth Form, his two Deputies, and twelve dedicated Sixth Form tutors to ensure additional support and guidance is readily available for students, should they want it.
We celebrate students who work hard, who are mindful of others, and who make the most of all that Cokethorpe has to offer.
Counselling and Peer Mentoring
Cokethorpe has a highly experienced Counsellor on site, having worked with children in counselling for over fifteen years. The service is available to all pupils and staff, supporting and working in tandem with the wider pastoral system, although the information discussed in counselling is treated confidentially. The reasons a pupil might seek to speak to the counsellor vary, but common themes are dealing with stress and anxiety, relationships, and adapting to change.
The opportunity to talk about things of concern, whether a child, young person or an adult, can be a powerful emotional and mental ointment, helping individuals sort out their thoughts and feelings about whatever is concerning them. By having a school-based counselling service, our pupils are able to receive support in an environment that feels familiar and safe, enabling them to have a greater opportunity to fulfil their potential.
The counselling I received has really helped me to feel confident in myself. Talking things through helped me to gain self-realisation and understand myself better.
Peer Mentoring is another provision offered at Cokethorpe and is accessible to pupils from First to Fifth Form in the Senior School. The service is run under the supervision of our Counsellor. The Mentors are Lower Sixth students, who have applied, been interviewed and have received extensive training in focused listening, reflecting, confidentiality, and safeguarding. The School presently has nine trained peer mentors in the Lower Sixth.
Participants of both the counselling service and the peer mentoring programme are required to fill out a Strengths and Difficulties Questionnaire (SDQ) – the standard practice used by the NHS – at the start and end of the process to measure outcomes and ensure the effectiveness of the services.
The Counselling service and the Peer Mentoring programme have a proven record of improving the wellbeing of those who access the service, who may feel more comfortable talking to someone of a similar age whom they look up to.
Where next?
Meet the Head
Welcome to Cokethorpe, a school that prides itself on providing a research-informed education to boys and girls from the age of four to eighteen.
Discover Cokethorpe
What you will discover when you visit Cokethorpe is more than a stunning vista. Pupils have an exceptional breadth of opportunity and are supported with a truly individual focus.
Approaches to Learning
Whether at the earliest stages of learning or in the final preparations for A Levels, expert consideration is given to the approaches to learning at each stage of a pupil’s academic development at Cokethorpe.