Pastoral
Welcome from the Head of School
Stepping into the role of Head of School is a privilege that I am hugely excited about, and as I look toward my final year, I cannot help but think about how much Cokethorpe has shaped me since I arrived in First Form. What stands out to me most is not one single event or achievement, but the constant sense of encouragement that you feel here- the feeling that you are known, supported, and trusted to make the most of every opportunity.
One of the first things I noticed when I joined was how quickly you feel a part of something bigger. The house system is not just about competitions and points; it is about friendships that cross year groups, older pupils looking out for younger ones, and a bit of friendly rivalry that makes events all the more exciting. I still remember my first house event, house singing, and how nervous I was, but everyone was so encouraging that it instantly became exciting.
Sport, too, is a cornerstone of life at Cokethorpe. Whether you are playing rugby, football, netball, hockey or more specialist sports including shooting, sailing, and climbing, there is a constant buzz of training, matches and tours. Representing the school in any capacity allows you to build strong bonds with fellow teammates or personal confidence. You learn how to push yourself, how to work as a team, and how to pick yourself up after a tough match- lessons that go far beyond the field.
What also stands out is the variety of things you can throw yourself into. The arts are woven into school life, with concerts, productions and exhibitions giving pupils the chance to perform and share their work. The AOB programme, which are timetabled slots open to a variety of lessons, is such a big part of the opportunities offered and was for me. I have seen friends discover they love drawing, play in a band, or join a club they would not have thought of, simply because the chance was there. This was when I learnt to crochet and continue to do so outside of school, many years on. These moments are when you realise how many opportunities there really are at Cokethorpe.
Above all, it is the people who make Cokethorpe what it is. The teachers who take the time to really know you, who encourage you to ask questions and think differently. The friends who turn ordinary days into unforgettable ones. It is a place that makes you feel valued and supported, while also nudging you to aim a little higher than you thought you could.
As I look ahead to the year to come, I feel incredibly lucky to have spent my school life in such a vibrant, caring community. I am excited to see what the year brings- the challenges, the achievements, and all the little moments in between that make Cokethorpe so unique, whilst continuing to fill my days with memories that I know will stay with with me long after I have left.
Mida
Upper Sixth, Feilden
Head of School
Pastoral Life in the Prep School
A defining feature of the Prep School is its exceptional pastoral care and the strong, supportive relationships between staff, pupils, and parents. This strength reflects our core aim: to help children grow into well-rounded, considerate individuals who support and respect one another.
Classes in the Prep School, as in the Senior School, are deliberately kept small. This allows class teachers to act in a role similar to tutors in the Senior School, providing both academic guidance and pastoral support tailored to each child’s needs.
A Culture of Kindness
The Prep School embodies a vibrant culture of kindness, where positive behaviour and empathy are not just expected, but actively celebrated. This ethos underpins daily life and helps create a community where every child feels valued and respected.
Our distinctive recognition programme, ‘Caught Being Kind’, brings this culture to life. Staff and pupils are encouraged to notice and acknowledge acts of kindness – whether it’s helping a friend, showing patience, or offering words of encouragement. These moments are shared and celebrated, reinforcing the message that kindness matters and that small actions can make a big difference.
Through initiatives like this, we aim to nurture not only academic success but also the qualities of compassion, integrity, and social responsibility that prepare pupils for life beyond the classroom.
Pupil Leadership
Pupil Leadership is another vital aspect of school life. From Year 2 to Year 6, pupils can take on roles such as School Council members, Sport Ambassadors, Digital Leaders, Wellbeing Ambassadors, and Playtime Leaders. These opportunities allow children to develop confidence, communication skills, and a sense of responsibility, while acting as positive role models for their peers.
Parent Partnership
We value close communication with parents, which we see as a two-way partnership. At the start of each academic year, parents are invited to a Parents’ Information Evening to meet teachers, connect with other families, and learn about curriculum plans and year group expectations. Regular reporting and ongoing dialogue continue throughout the year, ensuring that parents remain fully informed and involved in their child’s journey.
Pastoral Structures in the Prep School
The House System
The House system plays a central role in fostering community and belonging. It encourages pupils of all ages to socialise, collaborate, and compete in a spirit of respect and friendship. Inter-House competitions and events run throughout the year, and pupils in Year 6 are elected as Captains and Vice-Captains, developing leadership skills and responsibility.
Form Time
The Prep School uses RULER to teach our pupils emotional intelligence, helping them to manage their full range of feelings so they can make more informed decisions, form and maintain mutually supportive relationships, attain personal growth and wellbeing, and achieve both academic and life success. RULER stands for: Recognising emotions in oneself and others; Understanding the causes and consequences of emotions; Labelling emotions with a nuanced vocabulary; Expressing emotions in accordance with cultural norms and social context; Regulating emotions with helpful strategies.
In each year group’s form time, the Prep School uses Vote for Schools alongside the RULER approach to deliver a comprehensive curriculum that develops both social awareness and emotional intelligence. Vote for Schools provides a structured platform to discuss current affairs, promoting critical thinking and encouraging pupils to form and articulate their own opinions on complex societal issues.
Wellbeing Room
Pupil wellbeing is at the heart of everything we do. Our dedicated Wellbeing Room provides a calm and supportive space for children from all year groups. It offers an environment where pupils can take a short break from the classroom, engage in quiet activities, or receive pastoral care when needed. The room is equipped with age-appropriate resources designed to help children feel safe, regulate emotions, and restore focus, ensuring that their emotional and social development is nurtured alongside their academic progress.
ELSA Support
Our Emotional Literacy Support Assistant (ELSA) programme provides targeted support for pupils who may benefit from additional help with their emotional wellbeing. Through structured sessions, pupils develop skills in understanding and managing emotions, building resilience, and fostering positive relationships. This initiative reflects our commitment to nurturing the whole child and ensuring every pupil feels supported and valued.
Mentoring Programme
As part of our pastoral care, Year 6 pupils have the opportunity to be mentored by Year 12 students. This programme encourages positive role modelling and helps younger pupils build confidence as they prepare for the transition to senior school. Mentors offer guidance, share experiences, and provide a friendly, reassuring presence, strengthening the sense of community across the school.
Tutor Partnering Programme
Started in September 2021, the Tutor Partnering programme sees members of the Sixth Form spend time with classes or tutor groups from another year group, from Reception Class in the Prep School through to Fifth Form in the Senior School, during a Registration session each week.
The students offer support and guidance with pupils’ studies, provide an understanding of Sixth Form life or of subjects pupils are considering studying, and otherwise enjoy another opportunity to interact with younger pupils in the School.
Read about the Tutor Partnering programme from one of the early participants, Jamie Minns (OC 2022, Vanbrugh) using the link below.
LIF-Ed:
Preparing Pupils for Life Beyond the Classroom
At our Senior School, every pupil from First Form to Sixth Form takes part in the LIF-Ed programme, a dynamic and forward-thinking approach to personal development. Through weekly sessions, LIF-Ed explores the core themes of the national PSHE curriculum – Health and Wellbeing, Relationships, and Living in the Wider World – alongside statutory RSHE requirements and elements of Futures education.
LIF-Ed is about more than just learning facts. It’s about empowering pupils with the skills and confidence to thrive in life – to think critically, make informed decisions, and become active, responsible citizens. Rather than simply giving answers, we provide a framework that encourages pupils to question, evaluate, and make choices that align with the law and their values.
This journey begins in our Prep School, where the Wellbeing Curriculum is woven into every aspect of school life. Weekly PSHE lessons, taught by dedicated Prep teachers, lay the foundations for a happy, healthy, and successful future.
The House and Tutor Systems in Senior School
The Senior School’s pastoral care is built around the House system and its tutor groups. There are six main houses in the Senior School, named after individuals or families associated with Cokethorpe’s history: Feilden, Vanbrugh, Queen Anne, Swift, Harcourt, and Gascoigne. For those who join the Senior School in First Form (11+), they will enter Lower House – a conjoined House for the whole year group, although maintaining their House allegiances for the all-important inter-House competitions. Lower House helps pupils to adapt to life in the Senior School, get to know the idiosyncrasies of the Senior School, develop good routines, and make friends with new peers across the year group.
Wider House life is important at Cokethorpe, with House Assemblies taking place once a week. There are plentiful opportunities within House to demonstrate and hone the traits of the Leadership Programme, whether leading activities during House Assemblies, participating in the friendly rivalry of inter-House competitions, or the direct leadership opportunities for the Upper Sixth as Heads of House or Prefects.
Every pupil in the Senior School is assigned a tutor, with tutor groups kept deliberately small, helping good relationships to develop between tutors and their tutees, further aided by there being time with tutor groups every day. Tutors act as both an academic and pastoral support to the pupils in their tutor group, liaising with Housemasters, Heads of Department, and parents as appropriate.
Pastoral Life in the Sixth Form
The Sixth Form is a sociable, kind, and supportive community, which gives students the freedom to discover who they are, and to follow their own discrete path. We encourage students to be ambitious, both academically and beyond, and, as importantly, give students the necessary support and nurture to achieve those ambitions.
Members of the Sixth Form are supported by the Head of Sixth Form and two Deputy Heads of Sixth Form, each with a responsibility for one of the year groups. There are twelve dedicated Sixth Form tutors, with groups broadly split between the arts and humanities and STEM to ensure additional support and guidance is readily available for students, should they want it.
We celebrate students who work hard, who are mindful of others, and who make the most of all that Cokethorpe has to offer.
Counselling and Peer Mentoring
Cokethorpe has a highly experienced Counsellor on site, having worked with children in counselling for over fifteen years. The service is available to all pupils and staff, supporting and working in tandem with the wider pastoral system, although the information discussed in counselling is treated confidentially. The reasons a pupil might seek to speak to the counsellor vary, but common themes are dealing with stress and anxiety, relationships, and adapting to change.
The opportunity to talk about things of concern, whether a child, young person or an adult, can be a powerful emotional and mental ointment, helping individuals sort out their thoughts and feelings about whatever is concerning them. By having a school-based counselling service, our pupils are able to receive support in an environment that feels familiar and safe, enabling them to have a greater opportunity to fulfil their potential.
The counselling I received has really helped me to feel confident in myself. Talking things through helped me to gain self-realisation and understand myself better.
Peer Mentoring is another provision offered at Cokethorpe and is accessible to pupils from First to Fifth Form in the Senior School. The service is run under the supervision of our Counsellor. The Mentors are Lower Sixth students, who have applied, been interviewed and have received extensive training in focused listening, reflecting, confidentiality, and safeguarding. The School presently has nine trained peer mentors in the Lower Sixth.
Participants of both the counselling service and the peer mentoring programme are required to fill out a Strengths and Difficulties Questionnaire (SDQ) – the standard practice used by the NHS – at the start and end of the process to measure outcomes and ensure the effectiveness of the services.
The Counselling service and the Peer Mentoring programme have a proven record of improving the wellbeing of those who access the service, who may feel more comfortable talking to someone of a similar age whom they look up to.
Where next?
Meet the Head
Welcome to Cokethorpe, a school that prides itself on providing a research-informed education to boys and girls from the age of four to eighteen.
Discover Cokethorpe
What you will discover when you visit Cokethorpe is more than a stunning vista. Pupils have an exceptional breadth of opportunity and are supported with a truly individual focus.
Approaches to Learning
Whether at the earliest stages of learning or in the final preparations for A Levels, expert consideration is given to the approaches to learning at each stage of a pupil’s academic development at Cokethorpe.